Poor women. They are so stupid, each one who gets an abortion without realizing that what they have in their uteri is a comma of flesh that, with some imagination, can be made to be thought of as vaguely human, and which has a heartbeat. Thank you, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, for helping stupid women understand this.
Today, on this day after Mother's Day, I have been ruminating about the ramifications of procreation, and I offer some of my thoughts.
1. Women who choose to not have abortions ought to be required to view a 24 minute video of their teenager sulking, see a montage of photos about what the living room and kitchen look like after a pack of teenagers has come through, and undergo a simulation in which they are forced to drive a minivan to multiple sports events. They should also be required to view a graph demonstrating their diminished earning power as the result of being unable to work as much as they might have had they not had parenting responsibilities.
2. Men who do not have vasectomies, and who have had sex with a woman in the previous 12 months, should be required to view a graph showing how much money, per year, will be required to support a child from birth of the child through the man's death (which may be premature due to the additional stress imposed by parenthood). This graph could be attached to the Income Tax return. Men could waive graph perusal by submitting a vasectomy certificate or certificate of same-sex marriage/domestic partnership.