Hey, Republicans: we've all read about how the big donors said “get this tax cut done for us, or never darken our towels again,” but you know what? I just had a good idea for you. You're going about this wrong.
You know how, when you have a really crappy product, even if you spend really a lot of money promoting it sometimes it doesn't catch on? Sometimes, in fact, you end up really irritating would-be customers because they do not like being told they are going to get something wonderful for no money down, and then finding out that the wonderful thing is actually super-crappy and cost a lot. That makes customers feel ripoed-off, which in turn leaves then angry.
So here is an idea: We know you want a “win” but you know and we know that this abomination of a tax bill will be anything but. This tax bill is the tax equivalent of the restaurant in town with terrible service, that has a reputation for serving food that makes people sick, coming up with a new entree made from old boots, sauerkraut, and beets (I stole this analogy, by the way; can't remember from whom --probably Josh Marshall)
But you know what? If you guys did something that was actually good? You wouldn't need so much money from Waltons & Kochs to advertise “Chameauxes aux Betterave” (that's “beetroot” in French, I had to look it up). Because people would say: “those Republicans actually did something useful” and then they might, you know, actually vote for you, instead of against the Democrats.
So go ahead and work on an actual tax plan that won't reduce the deficit. No, it won't get done by the end of the year. But you know what? If you put together something that was even one-quarter not-bad, Demicrats would actually vote for it. We are stupid that way. And, yes, you Republicans in the crazy gerrymandered districts could be subject to tea party challenges, but you know what? You could partially solve that too by eliminating gerrymandering. That might be so popular that reasonable people who have recently abandoned the Republican Party might come back.
if you really need a “win” do something everybody can get behind.
like:
- get rid of daylight savings time, or
- declare war on spammers and people who violate the Do Not Call list, or
- make laws to keep Donald Trump from, you know, nuking some country because he hasnt been on TV enough, or has indigestion, or whatever it is that makes him tick (& we really don't want to know).
There are actually things you could do that we could all be enthusiastic about. Give Jeff Flake, & Collins, & Cotker permission to shoot this terrible tax bill down, and do something that will not hurt people.
Thats what you all thought you were going to do with your lives when you were little kids. There is still time to do something you will be proud of.